The Government Can!

A Little Mixed Up

From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-24534-451409

A Little Mixed Up
Just a line to say I'm living,
That I'm not among the dead.
Though I'm getting more forgetful
And more mixed up in the head.

For sometimes I can't remember,
When I stand at foot of stairs,
If I must go up for something,
Or if I've just come down from there.

And before the fridge so often
My poor mind is filled with doubt
Have I just put food away?...or
Have I come to take some out?

And there's times when it is dark out,
With my night cap on my head
I don't know if I'm retiring
Or just getting out of bed.

So...if it's my turn to write you
There's no need of getting sore,
I may think that I have written
And don't want to be a bore!!

So, remember..I do love you
And I wish that you were here,
But now it's nearly mail time,
So I must say good-bye my dear.

There I stood beside the mail box
With a face so very red
Instead of mailing you my letter,
I had opened it instead!!

My bifocals fit - my dentures are fine
My hearing aid works...but ..I do miss my mind!!!

-- Author Unknown

Exercising in Water- Think of the Pool as Another Piece of Workout Equipment

Have you ever considered including water fitness into your exercise routine? This can be a great way to increase strength, flexibility and cardiovascular health. Plus, during the months of summer heat, what is a better way to keep cool?

Water has great properties; one of the best for working out is its resistance power. You can work opposing muscles at the same time. For example, if you are doing curls underwater, pulling up will work the biceps, while pushing down will build up the triceps.

Another great feature about water is its buoyancy, which is simply the tendency or capacity to remain afloat in a liquid. It reduces your weight, therefore putting significantly less stress on your joints, bones and muscles. Compared to other exercises such as running, there is no impact on any of your joints. It is estimated that body weight is compounded up to five times during the heel strike when running or jogging. This is avoided in water. Water fitness requires use of your core as well, that is, utilizing your back, abdominals and obliques. This muscle group is often ignored during other exercises.

There are many ways to get fit and stay cool in the water. Most obviously, perhaps, would be to swim laps or tread water. But you can also jog in the water. Additionally, there is a variety of products available that can increase the resistance in your workout, including buoyancy belts and dumbbells, gloves and noodles. You can actually lift weights underwater.

While exercising in water is totally different from exercise on land, your approach to water exercise should be the same. Continue to warm up and stretch before you start the workout. Maintain the same amount of repetitions you would for exercises out of the water. Also, continue to mix up the exercises you do. Your body needs a variety of exercises, regardless if it’s on land or in water.

Another bonus to water exercise is its usefulness during special circumstances. Ask any professional athlete and they will tell you water exercise is essential when dealing with an injury. It allows you to continue exercising without putting any stress on your injury, thanks to its buoyancy discussed earlier. Also, because your body is supported by water your heart rate is slightly lower, meaning aquatic therapy is relatively safe for obese individuals, pregnant ladies and those suffering from hypertension and heart disease.

Exercising in the water is easy, but for obvious safety reasons it should never be done alone. It’s easy to find someone to exercise with though. Look into classes at your local health club. If none are available or fit your tastes, just grab a buddy and find a pool. When summer ends, you don’t have to stop including water fitness as part of your workout routine. Find an indoor pool and keep going. Have fun enjoying the benefits of a refreshing workout.

-- By Liz Noelcke, Staff Writer
SparkPeople

The Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, resentments, anger, and frustration; so . . .

Love the people who treat you right.

Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it,

and ninety percent how you take it.

Have a blessed, garbage-free day !

The Perks of Being Over 50

-- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

-- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

-- No one expects you to run into a burning building.

-- People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

-- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

-- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

-- Things you buy now won't wear out.

-- You can eat dinner at 4 PM.

-- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

-- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

-- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

-- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

-- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

-- You sing along with the elevator music.

-- Your eyes won't get much worse.

-- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

-- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

-- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

-- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-21419-290515

I Am Not Ashamed of the Gospel

We're an anchor for those who are hurting,
We're a harbor for those who are lost;
Sometimes it's not always easy bearing calvary's cross.

We've been ridiculed by those who don't know Him,
and mocked by those who don't believe.
Still, I love standing up for my Jesus
'cause of all that He's done for me.

That's why i am not ashamed of the Gospel, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
No, i am not afraid to be counted, but I'm willing to give my life.
See I'm ready to be all He wants me to be; give up the wrong for the right.
No, I am not ashamed of the Gospel.
No I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

For ev'ry moment His hand has held mercy,
For all the love that He's shown all my life,
A simple thanks just doesn't say how I'm feeling;
I get tears in my eyes.

So, as for me I'm gonna keep on believing
in the One Who's been so faithful to me.
I'm not out to please this whole world around me,
I've got my mind on eternity.

That's why I am not ashamed of the Gospel, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
No, I am not afraid to be counted, but I'm willing to give my life.
See, I'm ready to be all He wants me to be, give up the wrong for the right.
No, I am not ashamed of the Gospel,
No I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

{I've got too much behind me to let this world blind me.
To some He's a name, but to me He's my ev'rything.}
No, I am not ashamed of the Gospel,
No, I am not ashamed of the Gospel,
I've got too much behind me to let this world blind me.
To some He's a name, but to me He's my ev'rything. 
I am not ashamed of the Gospel. No,I am not ashamed of the Gospel,
No, I am not ashamed of the Gospel          of Jesus    Christ.